So, it's very easy to to get caught up in the craziness of raising little ones. My brain operates at about 70% these days and there is never enough time for me and Michael, the housework, or my personal agenda. But I refuse to focus on this nonsense. As Michael and I are looking at schedules for next school year, I realized that next year is my last year at home with Susannah before she starts school full-time. Whoa (Yes, I am crying as I type this).
Where has time gone? Time at home with my babies has been and continues to be the most fun and joyful time of my life thus far. I have the best job in the world, honestly. Yes, my days sometimes run together with meeting needs and providing care for completely dependent, precious little beings; but I wouldn't trade it for the world (even when I can't remember when my last shower was, ha!). The attention, care, and love that I give Susannah and Russell doesn't even begin to compare to what they give me. I treasure the days that we lay around in our pajamas, play on the floor together, cuddle on the couch, rock in the rocking chair for hours and read in bed together.....nursing, bath time, the pitter-patter of little feet, the babbling, squealing, growling, bubble-blowing and the heart-melting "I love yous".....watching them smile, put their tiny hands in my hand, use funny facial expressions, grow, learn, think, reach milestones, use their imaginations, hug, kiss, and love one another - these are the things to remember - the way their faces light-up when Michael comes home, the excitement for visiting grandparents, the ability to comfort them when tears appear, and their constant hugs and kisses for me because I am their Mommy. Pure, honest love - what a gift. I could go on forever describing how Susannah and Russell give this gift every day.
So, does anything other than my family really matter? Obviously not. I thank God everyday for my beautiful children; and most importantly, I am thankful for my loving husband - my partner on this journey, who provides for us, loves us, and helps me all the time. He is always there, no matter what is dished out each day. Michael is the best man in the world. Laughing with him about the joys of life and then trying to solve life's mysteries together is a wonderful (and often comical!) thing. Thanks be to God for my husband and our marriage.
Ok, it's official, I'm over my decline in brain function, the never-ending laundry, the need to exercise, to cook every night, look glamorous 24/7, blah, blah, blah, blah. What I want to focus on is this time for what it is - joyful days with my babies - because it won't last forever. The rest will take care of itself.
Susannah and Russell, I want you to always know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE every second with you both. God's greatest blessing to me is being your mom. And thank you Michael for providing me with the best job in the world.
It's time to turn in now, and as Susannah told me today "It's important to get rest, so we have energy, and our teeth don't fall out."
Honestly, who knew it was even possible to smile this much?